True story
Have ever been betrayed? Is despair familiar to you? Have you ever got discouraged with people? If the answer is yes, this story will be interesting to you.
The brightest memories of my childhood are loud parties of my father’s friends in our house, my frightened mother and my always discontented father. Being a child, I had a dream that my mother would flee to the North with us so that my father would never find us. But my mother did not intend to leave and I kept on dreaming about my own family, full of joy and happiness. I wanted to leave the relatives’ house as soon as possible.
Being a teenager, I left my home and started my own life. One day my friend defended me from my furious father and offered for me to live with him. I did not have to think for a long time and soon moved in with him.
It seemed to me that there was nothing worse than to stay home and bear endless quarrels and indignity. “Finally, I can start my own happy family,” I thought. But my happiness did not last long. He met another girl and left me with a three-year old daughter. I was humiliated and insulted. “Why? What for? I am castaway! I don’t want to live anymore.” But I had to take care of my little child and it helped me keep on living. It was an extremely difficult time in my life. I didn’t have a permanent job and had troubles with housing. Every day I had to make ends meet. I wanted to give at least the basic necessities to my child. I wanted to be a good mother for her and often blamed myself for failing to give her more.
Life went on. I tried to arrange my personal life, but every time I failed. So, I decided that happiness was not for me. I started a new job, where I met an old friend, who was completely different. She had joy in times when there was nothing to be glad about. She never quarreled, and very soon I found out that she was a Christian. She read her Bible and believed in God. She was very caring and helpful to me and told me that God loves me. I answered sarcastically and rude, but she never got offended and kept telling me about her God, who, as she said, lived in her heart. These words seemed to be very weird and incomprehensible to me. “If there is God, which I doubt, He is not concerned about me at all.” Many times, I roughly stopped her, when she was talking about God, with the following questions: “If there is God and He loves me, then why there are so many problems in my life? Why is there evil and suffering in this world?” But there was a tiny hope deep in my heart. “What if there is someone, who really loves me?”. My friend answered my questions with patience, using the Bible, and soon I started to read this book myself. The more I read it, the more I realized that my ideas of God and faith were very primitive. I was invited to the service and was very surprised to find out that so many people read the Bible, loved God and were not afraid of death. I thought, “Either all of them are crazy or they have something I don’t.” My friend told me that God hears, when people talk to him, and I decided to try. In my heart I said, “If You really exist, show it to me. If I lack something to get to know You, give it to me.” I continued reading the Bible and other Christian literature. One day somebody gave me a book, called “Born from God”, where I found answers to many questions. For the first time in my life I saw myself not as a victim, but as the guilty one. Now I understand that God showed me my heart full of unforgiveness and bitterness. I realized that I had never searched for God, had not cared if He existed or not, and had lived like there was no God. He became so real to me. I asked Him to forgive me, to come into my life, and to take the first place in my life. I finally understood that Jesus died for my sins. This was the most important and the most wonderful event in my life. God has changed my heart and my mind. He filled my life with His joy and realization that I am very dear to Him.
The circumstances of my life were not changed immediately, but my attitude became different. Now I can surely say that I am a happy mother and a grandmother. I have many faithful friends, but the most important thing is that I know my Heavenly Father and I trust Him, because He takes care of me and my family. I know that one day He will take me to the place, where there is no tears, sufferings, pain and death any more.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me”. (John 14:6)
If during hard times of your life you blame God and think Him to be indifferent to you, just remember that about 2000 years ago He sent His only begotten Son to cross for sake of sinners’ salvation and you are one of them. Could He do anything more important to prove His love to you?
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